Former Union minister and actor Smriti Irani opened up about motherhood, the demands of being a working mother and the bittersweet reality of watching children grow up and eventually become independent.
Speaking at an event, the 50-year-old was asked how she balanced raising her three children with a career spanning acting and politics. In response, she turned to the working mothers in the audience, saying those years are often a blur because mothers are too busy juggling work, parenting and everyday responsibilities. The video has gone viral with more than 124k views on X.
Irani said most working mothers don’t remember much about those years because they are constantly focused on keeping everything together.
“They needed to get the job done. That they needed to feed their kid. That they needed to make sure that the homework was done, that they needed to make sure that their PPT was equally ready. That they did not sleep many nights,” she said.
She also joked about how quickly children grow up, from needing constant care as babies to becoming teenagers who talk back.
“How many of you wondering that I was just cleaning the nappy and now this person is talking back to me?” Irani said, drawing a reaction from the audience.
‘That’s what it feels like to be a mom’
For Irani, however, motherhood is not simply about the years spent raising children. She described it as a long journey that only takes on a different meaning when children grow up and begin living their own lives.
She said many mothers only begin to reflect on those years once their children have grown up and built lives of their own.
“So that’s what it feels like to be a mom. It’s a job which is well done only when the kid doesn’t need you anymore. And that is the most heartbreaking thing,” she said.
Irani also spoke about the different ways daughters and sons may remember their mothers. “The daughter will remember only when she has a kid,” she said, adding that sons may understand the value of their mothers much later.
Calling this the “tragic beauty” of motherhood, she said, “You’re raising someone to let them go. You’re raising someone to forget you. You’re raising someone who will never need you again.”
‘You’ve spent half your life so that you can be forgotten in the other half’
Irani also shared her view on the different ways daughters and sons may remember their mothers.
“And all you’ll be left with is a photograph, a memory, a text. That is what you’re raising. You’ve spent half your life so that you can be forgotten in the other half,” she said.
Irani then linked motherhood to entrepreneurship and investing, arguing that women are often dismissed as “too emotional” despite those very emotions making them more resilient and determined.
“Can you compute an economic value to that?” she asked, before pointing out that some women in the room were emotional.
She argued that emotion should not be viewed as a weakness, particularly when it comes to women in business.
“But they don’t realise that it is that emotion that makes us honest enough to pay back. It is that emotion that makes us work harder, push back stronger, come back faster,” she said.
She concluded by highlighting the resilience that comes with motherhood and womanhood.
“And the day somebody realises that and invests in your enterprise, that’s a smart investor because money can buy anything. It can never buy a woman’s tenacity. It can never buy a mother’s love,” Irani said.
Anand Mahindra reacts
Industrialist Anand Mahindra also reacted to Smriti Irani’s remarks, saying her words had moved not just women but men as well. “It’s not just some women in that room, you made many men teary-eyed. @smritiirani, including me. The pain & pleasure of being a mother. So powerfully & emotionally articulated,” he wrote.
Mahindra, however, said he disagreed with one aspect of Irani’s comments. “I adored & cared for my mother till her last breath. Because I had immense gratitude for what you termed the ‘tenacity’ of her love. Even in my lowest periods she made me feel like I could move mountains. Not a day goes by when I don’t derive strength from her memory. Your son will be no different, I’m sure,” he added.
Responding to Mahindra, Irani wrote, “The one thing I’m sure we will agree on – a mother spends a lifetime preparing you to leave, while keeping her heart open for your return. That is a mother’s love—teaching you to fly, yet always remaining your safest place to land.”
Smriti Irani, who is married to Mumbai-based businessman Zubin Iran, has three children: Zohr, Zoish and her stepdaughter Shanelle. She is currently seen as Tulsi in Ektaa Kapoor’s Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.
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